IT'S NOT OKAY

Five months of pretending that I'm all right and that it will be all right is enough. No, it's not all right. I feel so lost. I don't even know how to continue this stupid blogpost. Ang dami kong gustong sabihin but I don't know how to express it. That's the exact thing that's happening when I'm writing. My characters are tuning me out. They're not interacting with me. It was depressing and frightening. I mean, paano ako magsusulat, paano ko itutuloy ang kuwentong tatlong buwan ko nang iginagapang kung may sariling mundo ang characters ko at ayaw nila akong isali sa mundong iyon? Paano ako magkakaroon ng simpatiya sa kanila? Paano ko sila bibigyang ng happy ending kung ang gusto ko lang gawin ay bigyan sila ng "ending". Para matapos lang, para may maisulat lang. I hate it. I hate this feeling. And I hate this stupid tears!